Resistance creates suffering
One of the main causes of our suffering is that we fight against life rather than opening to it.If something difficult happens and we say, ” why is this happening, why me? This is terrible, why does life do this to me?” Then we are in resistance and we are creating suffering for ourselves. If we fight against what is, we will cause ourselves immense distress, for no reason other than our resistance.
Resitance and blame inhibit our growth
Resistance also creates a tendency to blame externally or to be the victim. How can we ever heal or move on from patterns that keep occurring if we never take responsibility for them?
For example if our third partner leaves us and we say “why me, this is not fair?” We are blaming life or the other. Thus we will not understand the multiple reasons inside of ourselves that create the issue.
We may need to compassionately address a myriad of things such as;
- we may be people pleasing, not standing up for our core truth,
- we may be a little controlling because we are scared of abandonment,
- we may “keep one foot out the door” and never really commit because of fear of rejection,
- we may be a little critical because we do not like ourselves,
- we may not choose the right partners because of deep unworthiness.
The learning opportunities are different for everyone and actually beautiful. However we will only benefit from them if we compassionately accept the experience. Then choose to gain value from them by taking responsibility. It does require seeing our patterns with honesty and great gentleness.
Acceptance doesn’t mean inaction, it just means nonresistance
It’s important to recognize that accepting what is, doesn’t mean we can’t work on changing something or leave an unhealthy relationship. Acceptance just means that instead of fighting against, life we aim to embrace it with gratitude and an open heart.
Every circumstance is an opportunity
So next time you are tempted to say “why me, this is not fair” recognize that everything is an opportunity. It doesn’t matter whether it is a tiny thing like the computer breaking down, or a big thing like being laid off. If we work on accepting what is and learn from it we will suffer less. Once we start to accept and learn from life, then life gets easier. Increasing wisdom helps us move on from old patterns and we start to allow more love in our lives.
Sometimes circumstances are very painful and it is beautiful to allow our grief with gentleness and nurturing. However, even those very painful moments, can open our hearts. They ultimately teach us great wisdom and compassion.
Life is showing us ourselves, guiding us home to love
Often it is those experiences that seem very difficult that can provide the most wonderful wisdom. If I look back on my life, it is the moments that I most wanted to resist, that have ultimately brought wisdom and grace. I have learned when something challenging happens to greet it with acceptance. Inevitably there is value to gain, it may just take time to understand.
Acceptance creates deepening peace, and there is a growing trust in life itself. Life is actually showing us ourselves. As we learn, we shed layers of conditioning allowing us to discover what we really are. Life is guiding us home, towards our inner being and our being is love.
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